Melodramatic Fool

LAST EXIT

2006-10-23T13:53:00.000-07:00

Look at your hands
whats there to lose
whats there to gain

Look in the mirror
is it getting stranger everyday?
(your face,your face)

Are you even half the man
you used to know
Is there something you believe in
and are you still holding on?

Is there a price tag on your soul?
How much for you to let go?
Looking for your last exit,you seems
Trap in this ratrace that never cease.

Father,i cry for You tonight
Open up,open up her eyes.

LAST EXIT
Henry N.J.C

Love songs for a Saviour

2006-10-02T09:23:00.000-07:00

Your love is like
Sunshine thru' the rain
Drench me in your love
I'll dance in faith

Distance thunder
I shall not be afraid
I'll sing of Your grace and glory
at the top of my lungs
even in the darkest day.
Your Love Is Like...

When I look at the stars
when I look at the moon
when I embrace myself
in the warm afternoon
My mind paints a picture
oh Jesus its You

When tears roll down my cheeks
my knees feel old and weak
pressure comes crushin' in
pressure comes crushin' in
my soul cries for mercy
my soul cries out for You

My soul cries for salvation
salvation is

You lit up my life
filled up my void
with hope pre-occupied
Painter of mercy
author of life
Only You can answer my cry
Only You have the might
Untitled...yet

haha,got the song-writing kick back again.
Its hard to draw inspiration for a song from our daily routine,robot-like working life.
But writing a song for Christ can be easy
coz' He never failed to amaze,
never failed to inspire.
Anyway,no one deserves a love song more than someone who defines love,ain't it?

p/s:'Your Love Is Like' is incomplete.Thats only the chorus part.Anyone wanna chip in?

Dreaming with a broken heart...

2006-09-20T10:04:00.000-07:00

I'm drained.
Physically,emotionally,musically...

At work,i have to baby-sit a guy with 10 over years of experience in the business.Yes,a cook teaching a chef-de-partie what to do...i dun feel proud or 'hao lian' when i realised this...or when i was told to do so by my head chef.i felt tired and bad...Its doesnt feel good telling someone whos more senior than you(in rank n age...n salary!!!)what,when and how to do something...everytime.And it gets even worse when that person doesnt realised the situation...I MIGHT GET HIM OUT OF JOB.He is suppose to be 'THE MAN' in my station,but it turns out to be me,a cook.My head chef is damn pissed-off by it.I get the thumb-ups,he get the sticks.Its not my will to be in this situation...i swear.

Musically...Weiyang,pls...pls come back.Inspirations are dying out.Michel is doing a great job,but just da both of us...its not enough,Michel would agree too i'm sure.

'Cause sometimes it seems
Like the world's closing in on me
And theres no way of breaking free
And then i see you reach for me
Sometimes i wanna give in,
i wanna give up,
i wanna quite the fight
And then i see you,baby
And everthing's alright,everything's alright

When i see you smile
i can face the world...

Bad English
When i see you smile

Nuris...Thanks for the memories that gave me the right to think of you...everytime this song rings.
I miss you...and i hate myself for it.

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
and waking up
is the hardest part
John Mayer
Dreaming with a broken heart

Epiphany.

2006-08-21T09:35:00.000-07:00

Hey!Jamming was good tonight!
Although we din really jammed together much,but can feel that everyone learned something...and thats most important.

Jieying,you rock!!!
Found comfort and encouragement in your improvement.Thanx.
Work harder on your bar chords.You're on your way to become a LEAD GUITARTIST,yeah!
Its not hard at all,to be able to play like me.In fact,its so easy.All you need to do...is to NEVER GIVE UP.jia you!

You'll be Slash and i'll be Izzy(Michel?McKagan lor,haha)
or how about C.C.DeVille and Bert Michaels?hahaha...

Okie,Happiman...we want you to be back with us.

Epiphany is a christian feast intended to celebrate the revelation of God to humankind in human form,which is Jesus Christ.Of course!!!
Wikipedia Rock!Thanx!

May our everyday be an Epiphany.

BoXerS.b0y

2006-08-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

Thanx WY and Sandra,they're REALLY comfortable...hahaha.

I always thought that only MUJI produces good ermmm,boy shorts...G.O.D(Goods Of Desire)knows how to keep young boys(ya,me hahahaha)happy too...i tink i'll go checkout their stuffs 2molo.

Rented a book from an old-skool Rent-and-Sell bookshop near HollandV.
The Adrain Mole Diaries by Sue Townsend.

I actually LOVE reading!!!
I'm intellectual afterall,hahaha!!!

alrite,not funny.

Offday For An Intellectual
sleep early 2nite
wakeup early 2molo
readup the Books of Timothy
readup my rented book
lookdup for The Tales Of The Three Kings
Mitdup people that i'll love to hangout with
and of course...Falter None.

will sleep in my new boy shorts tonite.

happi birth.Day to me....

2006-08-17T08:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday,there was so many things
i was never told
Now i'm startin' to learn
I feel i'm growing old

'Cause yesterday got nothing for me
Old pictures that i'll always see
Some things could be better
if we'd all just let them be

Yesterday,there was so many things
i was never shown
Suddenly this time i found
i was on the streets
i was all alone
Yesterday
Guns and Roses

survived thru' quarter of a century on God's grace and mercy...
happy birthday,old boy...

la la la la la la life...

2006-08-11T12:08:00.000-07:00

and takes no time to fall in love
but it takes you years to know whats love is
and it takes some fears to make you trust
it takes those tears to make it rust
it takes the dust to have it polished,yeah

Life Is Wonderful
Jason Mraz

Oh,Mraz is a genius with words.

Sometimes you thought that you know a person very well.
Sometimes you thought that you know what you want.
Sometimes you thought that you can handle situations.
Sometimes,sometimes...
Life Mocks,sometimes...

But i know that God will not mock at His own children.
He will not waste a single drop of our tears.
He will not waste a single drop of our blood that we suffered from our fall.
He will not ignore our call everytime we cried out to Him.
All these,come lessons that help us to grow stronger.
To hold on to certain things.
To let go of certain things...

life is wonderful,life comes full circle...when you know Jesus Christ.

when the music fades...

2006-08-07T11:23:00.000-07:00

An old friend of mine(during my jamming days)entered a talent competition recently.He and his band didn't win...but they're impressive enough to earn interests from recording label for a contract.

Good for you,kelvin.
Holding on to a dream ain' easy...but you've proved to me that its possible.All da best for your recording deal.

Kelvin kinda bring me back to like,6 years ago.
In da summer of yr 2000(ya i know,its summer round da year here.juz wanna sound cool,tts all)...me,WeiYang,Michel and Sebastian came together and formed Sleepinfaith.We worked really hard on our chops then,exploring new ways or the ROCK way(tts our common cup of tea,haha) to play christian music.
Any musician in da world will have a common goal...They wanna to be heard.Its not 'hao lian' or ego...its juz a musician thingy.
Same goes for Sleepinfaith.But we were never interested in landing a recording deal,not even to score a gig...coz we knew tt we wanna do christian music,and will stick to it.Still proud of that,haha.

WE WANNA BE A CHRISTIAN BAND.not a super band.

Although Sleepinfaith no longer exist,but at least WY,mike and seb are still holding on the torch in the worship ministry.Whenever i see them play in service,i can smell abit of the 'Sleepinfaith touch' in the their playing,hahaha.

I'm still holding on too...No one else beside God,deserves a new song.No else beside God,deserves our creativity.No one else beside God,deserves our talents...
Coz all these,come from Him...

when the music fades
and all has slipped away
and i simply come
Longing just to be
something thats of worth
that will bless your heart
Heart of worship
Matt Redman

okie,its a bad day...

2006-08-06T10:02:00.000-07:00

okie...

First,i've decided to go and catch a movie 2molo...alone.Thats a BIG deal to me.I have a BIG problem with watching movie alone.nvm...
Then...I called Nuris...she picked up,kept silent and played some hardcore,grindcore,satanic,wateva music for me to listen...she knows i hate that.I must have really,really upset her.
Okie,nvm...at work.I screwed up.I overcooked a snapper(its a fish).I've never overcooked a fish before...I took pride in that,errrrrr.

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around

...hmm,din worked.
will play my Baloche CD and see how...

Offday 2molo...not really looking forward to it.

Oh,Brother...

2006-08-03T09:51:00.000-07:00

my younger brother,Felix,asked me to teach him guitar...haha,what a pleasant surpise.
I never thought of that before.Well,i always wanted to share with him the joy of playing music,but he never look like hes interested.Our common topics are like wrestling(my whole family are wrestling fans,haha)and soccer,never about music or guitar...
But tonight,the first thing he said to me,after i reach home from work,is gor,can teach me guitar? ...Haha,sure,more than happy to do so.

I've never been a good brother to him.I'm not a good example,never really done anything for him to look up to.So,i hope at least thru' music,i can offer him something...something that he can give back to the Lord.Oh ya,the reason why he wanted to pick up guitar...is to serve in his CG.Hes a CG leader in his church(CHC),and hes the 'xiao-ON' type,haha.
This gave me extra motivation to teach him.We Are On The Same Page.

Haha,but i got small problem here.He only listen to Hillsongs,PlanetShakers,City Christian Youth...he don't know whos Tommy Walker,Paul Baloche...Alamak,must listen to more of his choice...so as to make him feel more related.And he never heard of 'Give Em' All'...the greatest entry-level guitar song ever...haha.

Can Lah Can Lah

I'm excited...

must introduce him music from people like Tommy Walker,Paul Baloche,Matt Redman...especially Baloche...coz my friend's dad look like him,seriously,haha.

déjà vu...

2006-07-31T09:54:00.000-07:00

...monday blue.

Went back to Cafe Whatever.Happy to know that people over there still misses me.

Esther.
Thanks for being sooo sweet to me,even after i quit.Always ready to give 'love hugs' to whoever needs it.Marc was right.Your hug is one of the best around,haha.

Marc.
You're my brother.Despite our differences in race and religion,you are one man that i can truely trust.And i think you are the only guy that actually says you misses me.Marc is straight,and so am i...

You see,thats why i misses Whatever so much.
They are never shy about their feelings.Cute lah...

Unlike me.

End my offday at Liat's Starbucks again...Can't help it,but this time round,i only had one...

Thanksgiving...and goodbye.

2006-07-27T10:26:00.000-07:00

I'm a blessed man...Blessed by God's amazing grace...and for the people and things that i totally don't deserve...

Weiyang.
You lifted me up tonight.15 years of friendship.15 years of brotherly love.Always there.Thanks.

Michel.
No matter what happened,no matter how different we are.For the same route that we had taken together,for the same 'tables' that we clashes thru' together,for the same 'chair shot' that we 'kana' together...Thanks.

My CG.
Never give up on me.I am a lousy CG member.i mean,i din even attend my CG due to my work.But whenever i'm with them...They made me felt like Home...Thanks.

Sleepinfaith(dyfunction).
My personnel best band in the world!The band that developed my passion for music and the bonding btw my bros.It started because of God,it ended because of God...its all because of God...its beautiful.Thanks.

Falter None.
Because of you guys...your passion for music,your drive that came from God...Re-ignite my fire to plug-in my guitar again.A whole new vision,mission and passion.Thanks.

But is it time to say goodbye?if so...i'll say it with a grateful heart.
Thanks...goodbye.

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit."
Psalm 34:18

For the Lord does not abandon anyone forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion according to the greatness of his unfailing love."
Lamentations 3:22-26;31-32

Above all...Thanks Lord.

My Prayer...

2006-07-26T09:59:00.000-07:00

Teach me...O'Lord...Teach me.
Teach me to count my blessings instead of my sufferings...
Teach me to think about Your crucification instead of my frustration...
Teach me to demonstrate Your love instead of my rage...
Teach me to be humble...
Teach me to remain silent in the midst of raging storm...

Forgive me.

In the name of Jesus.
Amen.

He knows my name
He knows my every though
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I fall
He knows my name
Tommy Walker

He knows...He knows whats going on...thats...enough.

The taste of lonliness...

2006-07-25T11:48:00.000-07:00

...i tasted it tonight.

Its horrible...and its the after-taste of fustrustion,anger and disappointment all mixed up in a salad bowl...What a horrible salad.

...and i'm tired...really...of saying sorry...whether theres a misunderstanding or not.

At work,i had to say sorry for wrongs that i did not commit.For certain reasons,i HAD to,coz thats work.i understand...i said sorry...i tahan...nobody understands...i'm okie with it.
At home,i saw my friend,i care,i share...All the right things went worng.Care n Concern became Sarcasm...Sarcasm?I don't know what to say...really.I'm defeated.
Okie,i will understand...
okie,i will say sorry,someone gotta say sorry,is'nt?...
Hi,is there anyone out there?vacancy for understandings...No?Its okie...I'm alrite...ya.

How many SORRYs do one had to say in a day?

"And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand"
Iris
GooGoo Dolls

I just need one...just one to understand.

XXOOXXOO...xx

2006-07-24T12:14:00.001-07:00

XXOOXXOO...xx

Haha,that must be the funniest part in NACHO LIBRE...

A fulfilling monday for me despite theres no jamming today.At first i thought the studio close early to 'bai ti gong'or'qi gue'(hungry ghost fest)...but then again,i think the owner is a christian...so,nvm.

Spent the aftnoon at Starbucks with 3 mugs of black coffee in a row.Sounds boring,but thats what i longed to do ever since i started working at Rochester Park...Coffee,lazy music,magazine,people watching...VIVA LA SIESTA...
Haha,i bought a watch too.Its an old skool casio,and its GOLD(hard to find!),the 'eye-sore' type of gold...hahahaha.

Then came the 'main event' of the day(drumroll pls)...watch NACHO LIBRE with phy...haha,like something very happening like that.But thats s'pore for you LAH...End the day with 2 more mugs of coffee at Starbucks again.Haha,we end it with Starbucks again.Not really a BIG fan of bucks'coffee,just that they served better brewed coffee compared to their rivals...Marc's(WHATEVER) coffee is still the BEST..."Coz its made wif LOVE,bro...".Haha,WHATEVER's Dude n Babes,I miss you guys...

Thats sum up my off day...Sometimes,fulfillment comes in small,simple package.

XXOOXXOO...xx...
...certain things are best left unsaid.

"每一次想开口但不如保持安静...".
Lee Hom
Kiss Goodbye

To make Happy food,to make people Happy...

2006-07-22T11:42:00.000-07:00

"Well,you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on"

I need a holiday...

I'm not lazy...its not that i hate my job,i love cooking.The feeling of turning raw stuff into food that people will pay money for(in my case,is quite alot of money),is simply,good.But for me,the real joy of cooking is to be able to put a smile on my consumers face with my food...

I experienced that before when i'm still with WHATEVER,my previous empolyer.Its a small cafe...very cozy,very homey.As our kitchen is an open kitchen,we are so close to our guests that instantly,we'll know if our food is the best thing that happened to them that day,or its simply suck.Haha.Luckily,during my tour of duties there,i've never been questioned why my food deserved to have a price tag.Instead,i got guests came up 2 me,asking for the recipe.They're happy with our food,and thats joy.Simple.

I still remembers that day when Weiyang brought Sandra over for breakfast at WHATEVER.I made them Home-made maple pancakes with chalky happy fruits(bananas and fresh strawberries!),mexican poached-egg rancharos and complete with cheesy pita bread...They looked satisfied,they said they're happy with the food.I tell you,i'm the HAPPY one that morning...

Thats my dream...To make happy food,to make people happy.

But with my current workplace...definitely more 'class',the so-called 'new kid on the block' in local Dine n Wine scene...I don't feel the joy anymore.I felt more like a line production worker,rushing the food out to meet demands...I don't know whats goin' on outside,i don't know if our guests are happy with our food...I don't know anything...To be fair,the food is good over here...The papers said so,the mag said so...and we served like,avg 100 covers everyday...we must be good.
But i don't feel the joy any more.

I need a break from my workplace,and think...I can't go on and bluff myself that i'm still enjoying what i'm doing...I'm just wasting time...and time is something that i don't have.I need to think it over...I need to pray...I need prayers...

I felt...sentosa today.Haha.

p/s:Thanx mum,i love you and your group of karaoke aunties...Thanx-a-Thousand,haha.

My Wivies...

2006-07-18T11:13:00.000-07:00

My wivies.
The Ibanez RG(my 1st electric guitar) is called Jiam Jiam,coz its a Ibanez...and shes sharpe,thats why Jiam.
My mexican Fender Stratocaster is Shinas...she helped me to complete my 'Ning Chen Wu Dian Ban'.
The brown Samick,given to me by Chris Lee,is called Kelly Taylor.Thats his favourite Beverly Hills 90210 character.Ehhh...I know.Chris belongs to the era where Amara Hotel was like our MOS,Luke Perry n Jason Priestley were like our Brad Pitt,Orlando Bloom.
The black B.C.Rich Virgin is Nuris...coz i can't find a better name that suits this guitar.Shes...just...NURIS.
My acoustic Yamaha is Samantha...simply because she got her neo-prints all over it and i can's get it off!!!

Really thank God that i can play guitar.Whenever i strapped on my Shinas(shes my workhorse),i felt like a different person.She reminded me theres still something that i'm passionate about.I am not a good guitarist,but i'm a passionate one.

Thanx phy,for helping me with the links...HTML,i've learnt that before...during my poly days.Given all back liaoz...thats why i'm a cook now.

Miss my cafe...don't know when my cafe will materialised...maybe should start by naming it...Anyway,i'm a happier person compared to last night...wateva.

the moment of truth in your lies...

2006-07-17T10:15:00.000-07:00

"And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,
Or the moment of truth in your lies..." (Iris,Goo Goo Dolls)
One of the most beautiful song ever written...

Feeling kinda like...bitter-sweet?
missing someone whom you're not suppose to?
you'll think this song is written for you...haha

Its Monday Night Jam...Basket Case was fun with Michel,starting to feel that hes a better punk-pop/pop punk(wateva) drummer then a metal one,ha...
YF Talentime '06 is just 'round da corner.Excitement in the air.
PHY jia you!
KW jia you!
WJ jia you!
YX jia you!
JY ah...jia you jia you jia you!!!you can do it!

Started to have doubts about Falter None.Not the students.Its the teachers...me,especially.
Have we done enough for them?
Are we wasting their time,efforts and money?
Did we demostrate to them that worship music is more than mesmerizing drum works or swashbuckling-ish solos?
Are we a good example?
Never felt so accountable for them before...stress.

"Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive..."
I'm scared.
Scared that I can't contain it no more.
Scared that people can read my minds.
Scared of the moment of truth...
I've been doing well,isn't it?yeah...right.
"Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive..."

Had to tell myself that i'm not waiting for her to come online...

i love sunday

2006-07-16T12:01:00.000-07:00

Every sunday should be like this...Go church,celebrate your best pal's birthday,realised that there's no work for you today,music from struggling(but sincere)musicians,sea breeze,found a friend who's willing to listen to your whinings,terrible cakes,better coffee,friend is still there to listen to your whinings...

"Do you have the time to listen to me whine,About nothing and everything all at once..."
A song that defines a generation of stoners and melodramatics fools...

Thanks...for You have given me friends who willing to accept who i'm.

I don't wanna work on sunday.